GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ!!!! Ok, so this daemon Louise is still staying in the Beyonder's house. Eating the Beyonder's green bean caserole. Dirtying up the Beyonder's bed. And it's been, like, TWO FRIGGIN' WEEKS!! The Beyonder knows that he went to high school with Louise and everything, but lordy, why doesn't he leave?! The Beyonder means, doesn't Louise have, like, a job, or like, a family, or something that he should be getting back to? ... AAARRRRGGGGHHHH... All well. The Beyonder is probably making a mountain out of a mole hill. Anyway, some interesting stories have come out of Louise. Turns out that the Beyonder's old friend Louise is now an investmen banker... weird. The Beyonder wouldn't think that a snow daemon could get such a prestigious title. Especially one like Louise. (Louise was never one for school work) Also, he was telling the Beyonder about what happened when he showed up in town. (Why Louise was so far away from Nevada is beyond... the Beyonder. Heh.) So Louise shows up in Wakefield during this snow storm, and he gets hungry. So he looks around and there's a Shaw's. Louise is a big fan of the food that Shaw's carries so he figures he'll get some. Only the doors are two small. So Louse has no choice but to burst through the door. When he gets through there's this girl that starts givin' him guff about everything. So he leaves without any food. But this girl just follows him and demands he let her give him a ride. So he goes. During the ride, this girl just yells at Louise about all these assenine things, and Louise gets nervous when people yell at him, so he freaks out!!! He grabs the girls steering wheel and smashes all of her windows, gets out of the car a friggin' books!! That's where the Beyonder comes in. The Beyonder guesses Louise isn't so bad. Hold on... he just got back from Stop~n~Shop.


HOLY CRAP!!!! Louise didn't go to Stop~n~Shop at all!!! He went to Ticket Master and got us Jay-Z tickets with backstage passes!!!! That'll be aweseme!!! You know, people are always saying that DMX has done so much for the rap industry, but he totally ripped off Jay-Z. And we should know... Louise and the Beyonder went to high school with Jay-Z. He told us all of his ideas, and as soon as his career starts to take off... DMX steals all of those ideas... Alll well. It'll be good to see Jay-Z again. The three of us used to be real tight. Well the Beyonder has to go. Peace out!