GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Damn of Damns!! The Beyonder's plan hath been foiled. As you know, the Beyonder has been planning his sweet, sweet revenge against his neighbor Georgia. She made the mistake of accusing the Master Sphere that he did steal her Freddrick's of Hollywood catalogue. The plan was brilliant. The plan was ingenius. The plan would have taught Georgia a lesson she would not soon have forgotten. The plan was a mailbox bomb.

Georgia would go outside unsuspectingly to get her mail. When she opens the mailbox... EXPLODE!!! All was going well. Georgia went out to the mailbox as the Beyonder peered through his blinds. She approached it casually as, in the distance, a loud crashing started. The noise gets closer as the Beyonder begins to hear the love sick cries of a snow daemon!! "Winnefred!!! Winnefred!!!" Cried the beast as he ran towards the mailbox, obviously under the impression that Georgia was in fact the Winnefred character he's always ranting about. At this moment the Beyoner remembered that he had told Louise what his plan was, and if he thinks that Georgia is Winnefred... NO!!!!

The Beyonder ran out of his freezing house yelling, "NO, LOUISE, STOP!!! THAT'S NOT WINNEFRED!!" But the Beyonder's efforts to halt the charging monster... were futile. Louise ran up and grabbed Georgia just when she would have openned the mailbox and pushed her away. "Louise!! What the hell is wrong with you?" She demanded. "Winnefred, my love," he said, "I have just saved your life! The Beyonder has laid a trap for your illfated sister Georgia. See?" Louise reached over, and openned the mailbox and, as the Beyonder had made sure it woud, the mailbox exploded, sending Louise flying into the air. Georgia looked at the Beyonder and said, "God dammit you're a creep, you friggin' sphere!" and walked back to her appartment. The Beyonder went back inside of his house and began cleaning out his old friend' belongings and bringing them to the dumpster. And at that moment, he knew. He knew that Louise was gone forever. That mailbox bomb was a brilliant plan in conception, but in practice, it proved to be far from brilliant. For all the Beyonder knows, Louise now calls oblivion home, instead of Nevada. Oblivion or space. Or Albuqurque, which is pretty close to Nevada. The Beyonder's adventures with Louise Hans Christian the Snow Daemon, are over. As the Beyonder hovered back to his house, he saw a burned letter, lying on his doorstep. He read it:

Dear Dexter,
How are things in Rhode Island? That's good. I wish things were going well here in Seatle. My wife divorced me and she got the house. I'm really going to need a place to stay. I should get to your place by Wednesday. Thanks!!!

Your loving brother,
Moses Mills

So the Beyonder is coming to stay with him? He'll arrive in, like, two days. Son of a bitch. Well, it looks as though someone has got a lot of cleaning up to do. So the Beyonder sits here in his house with a Louise shaped hole in it, and his heart with a similar hole, and he says... until next time... peace out.