The darkness was starting to getting old! It's very difficult to tell time in the darkness but surely something must be wrong. He'd never experienced a reverie like this. He thought that If he could focus his energy he may be able to figure away to resolve the darkness situation.

Light! If he concentrates hard enough he can shed light and see where he is. Here goes nothing! He focuses as hard as he can on light and it begins to work. He could see finally, after all that time!

Or not much time at all, who knows...

Strangely though, all he could see seemed to be wood panels directly over him. Concrete below. Nothing much different to the sides. Which way to push? Wood is the easiest. Up he went!

The Beyonder wiled himself up and broke right through the thin wooden ceiling. Or... floor, apparently? He found himself in a house! A small, too-pretty house. A house with no character. A house in which he was trapped under the floor boards for God knows how long. How curious!

Finding his way outside he saw that he was surrounded by several identical small houses. Over-priced condos for the weekenders of where ever he was. Moving about the empty complex he began to realize that there was something familiar in the unfamiliar. An unrecognizable something in this place that he must have only visited in some past dream. The sound of the ocean nearby called to him. He knew it was the ocean because he lives by an ocean and its an unmistakable sound accompanied by an unmistakable wind. He traveled the quaint landscape and cleverly winding stone pathway towards the beach. As he approached it, it dawned on him why this terrain was so familiar. He'd recognize that beach anywhere! Rotating on his axis he backtracked past the house he awoke in. To the road where the new-old sign sat to clearly smack him across the face with a mysterious truth.

"Matunuck Breakers" it read.

"Matunuck Breakers is where I live!" He said aloud. "The house I awoke in is my own. But this is not what it looks like. How long have I been in darkness, I wonder?" He thought for a moment about how long it could have been since he was awake. "Well, if I'm home than Georgia must be here!"

He willed himself towards Georgia's house and created a knocking sound at the door. Nothing. He willed himself inside. Nothing! Only the same plain-ness that was in his own house. He retreated back to the information packets outside the landlord's condo. Opening he discovered what had happened, but not the why or how.

"(c) 2010" It had been 5 years since he had last seen any of his friends. They had renovated the apartment complex in that time, and had apparently left him in the floor during construction, no doubt confusing him for a children's toy. Georgia had left this place sometime in that five years and he had know idea how long ago or where she had gone.

Taking a moment to digest all this new information he accepted the one fact he was aware of, the only fact that he never would have taken so seriously or thought would ever mean as much to him as it did.

Georgia Dunn was gone.

Still darkness.

Some time ago he slipped into an extended reverie which his kind must take periodically. Being so powerful requires a tremendous amount of energy, you know.

He's experienced the reverie before, but this time is different. This time his body seemed to have decided he was done resting before his mind did. He feels awake and alert yet he is surrounded by the empty void of unconsciousness. He can't say how long he's been in this state. Maybe minutes, maybe years. His only choice is to wait it out though and eventually his mind will get the memo. "Oh, right!" his mind will say as it realizes that the body has been waiting all this time for it to catch up. Suddenly, the black will fill with light and old memories will come true. Once his eyes adjust to the world around him he will be back in Matunuck, probably, or where ever he was when he slipped into reverie. Every thing will be as it was and he will check the status of the things that mattered at the time.

This got him to thinking of things that did matter. He would have to check in with his secretary, Gracie, when he finally woke up. Certainly she's loyal enough to still be his secretary after all this time. The Michael, hopefully will have resolved this werewolf issue and no doubt his own lycanthropy probably will have disappeared after his re-energizing. All-Powerful Mick will give him all the news that matters and he can settle back into his comfortable little cottage on Matunuck Beach. With Georgia. Georgia who he missed most of all.

Even though they had had their disagreements about who had destroyed who's wall, she is one of the only things that keeps him entertained in this world. He's quite sure that goes double for her since on her best days she seems to teeter-totter on the edge of insanity. Will she have changed since they last spoke? Will anything have changed? Will anything be the same?

He grows more impatient for his reverie to end as time goes by.

Darkness. He awoke to only darkness, and that's where he's been.

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

The Beyonder sat in the refridgerator for several minutes before he realized that Georgia had lit it on fire. Beyonders are pretty fire resistant. After waiting in the flames and hearing the Michael screaming about his refridgerator and Georgia cackling about not knowing what it is and that is what I did, or some such thing, a hole was melted/burned through enough that the Beyonder could teleport out into the Michael's living area. The Michael was very pleased to see him, but most of his attention was focused on Georgia who, having not noticed that he had escaped, was still feeding the refridgerator fire.

Once the Michael managed to stop the fire from spreading and the refridgerator had been duely vanquished, Georgia turned satisfactorily toward the living area only to see the Beyonder looking just fine. She immediately met him with a cold, hateful stare. The Michael exclaimed his dissaproval for the death of his refridgerator, and commissioned Georgia that she would buy him a new one from the local refridgerator retailer, or as you humans call it, Sears. THe MiCHaeL picked Georgia up over his shoulder in such a way that she was able to keep glaring at the Beyonder and he took her outside to bring her to "Sears." He also invited the Beyonder.

Once at the Sears, the Beyonder felt it wise to follow at a safe distance given Georgia's heated state... HAHAHAHAHAHA HEATED!!! HE SAID HEATED... SHE JUST TRIED TO LIGHT HIM ON FIRE AND HE SAID THAT SHE WAS HEATED!!!! HHARHARHARHARHAR

Anyway, The Michael and Georgia were talking and he was able to eavesdrop because he can do whattever he wants with his god powers.

The Michael: WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO SOMETHINGL LIKE THAT????
Georgia: So when you said you loved me no matter what, you meant I love you as long as you don't set fire to any of my major appliances. Okay. Yeah, I see. We're going to have a GREAT marriage.
M: I.....WHAT.....What are you talking about???? You set fire to our refridgerator!!
G: I really see this as being more of Its fault than mine.
M: The fridge?
G: No, THAT.

Georgia then pointed at the Beyonder

The Beyonder: I fail to see how this is my fault. I didn't tell you to light that refridgerator on fire. I had only come in to tell the Michael that I would be honored to be his best man at THe WeDDiNG.

But she didn't hear him, she was too busy trying to pick up a large television set to through at him.

M: NO! GEORGIA! SERIOUSLY, SOMETHING LESS EXPENSIVE!

At that point we heard a familiar voice...

: And yay the chicken did lay the egg, but of the egg was born man. And of man was born another man...

It was Georgia's father standing on a soapbox and preaching to passersby. Georgia flew into another barbarian rage and ran off into another room.

Dad: And in the year of Zaccariah there was yet another egg, followed by a slightly smaller egg--

Georgia then ran back in with a large fishing net.

Georgia: GET IN THE NET OLD MAN!!
D: GEORGIA YOU GO HOME! IF YOU INTERUPT THE WORD OF MAN ONE MORE TIME YOU AREN'T GOING TO THE PROM!!
G: I WENT TO THE PROM YEARS AGO! WITH THE KNIFE SALESMAN! YOUR THREATS ARE WORTHLESS!!!

She swung the net at him, but he darted and bobbed out of the way.

G: HOW OLD DO YOU EVEN THINK I AM?????
D: AT LEAST THIRTEEN! I THINK..........RIGHT?
G: AURRRRGHHH!

Georgia shrieked and swung the net again, missing him a second time.

G: GET IN YOUR NET! IT'S EMPTY WITHOUT YOU!!

The Michael took a dive toward my father, but missed.

G: BeyON_DER QUICK! HELP US! MAKE AN EXTRA TERRESTIAL DIMENSION!!!

B: Patience is a virtue!

He shouted and waited... eventually the battle ended as Georgia's father darted out of Sears and Georgia and the Michael were far too out of shape and fat to chase him. The Beyonder teleported outside and gave chase as Georgia's father ran out of the parking lot. He chased him all the way from Providence to Peace Dale and saw as Georgia's father ran into his secret hideout.... Giro's on High Street. Now knowing this, the Beyonder could infiltrate for no reason... but he'd need help... of ninjas... and the only man who could pull off OR WOULD BE WILLING TO PULL OFF a suicide mission like this.... Elwood Patrick Anger.

Peace Out!!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

So, the Beyonder is very sorry that he hasn't been posting on his blogggg. It's been almost a year since he has posted last, in fact, if his calculations are correct. Long story short, it turns out the the Beyonder was a werewolf for some reason, so most of the past almost a year has been spent first figuring out how to cure lycanthropy and then curing lycanthropy. After that, the Beyonder decided that Grace wasn't nearly as entertaining as he anticipated her to be, so he created himself a bunch of money and bought a pet. The Beyonder bought a pet goat, which he named Puscifer, after the name of a band that doesn't actually seem to exist but is on the Underworld Motion Picture Soundtrack with Maynard James Keenan and John Frusciante from the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the song is awesome and about a crazy evil woman and awesome... so awesome that he named the goat after the imaginary band Puscifer. Anyway, so the Beyonder bought a pet goat named Puscifer and promptly lost it. It ran off somewhere. The Beyonder knows what you're thinking, "But Dexter, don't you live in an extra-dimensional space? I mean... where could the goat..." and then the Beyonder shouts, "HIS NAME IS PUSCIFER," and you're all, "... ugh... fine where could Puscifer possibly have gone?" Well, smart-ass, the Beyonder didn't think that an extra-dimensional space was a proper place to keep a goat so he bought some property in Tucker Town. It's a nice little farm land, with ducks and cows, and boy-howdy are cows lustful.

Anyway, Puscifer dissappeared and then the Beyonder was sad because he kind of liked that goat. And then a week ago the Beyonder was out and about in Peace Dale getting his mail, and much to his surprise, he HAD MAIL!!! "No one likes me!" he curiously exclaimed out load. "Damn straight, ghhgh." Snapped this jackass kick named Eric who works at Shaws now. The Beyonder looked at him and vibrated a bit and then the kid's head exploded and then his body turned blue and emaciated and now the Beyonder has a new pet zombie named Puscifer II. Anywasy so the Beyonder opened the letter and low and behold it's from the Michael. Turns out that he and Georgia are getting married and he wants the Beyonder to be his best man. The Beyonder was about to teleport to the Michael's house when he caught a glimpse of something over near Georgia's father's house. He floated over to find it was the tattered remains of his goat. He was shocked at first and then saddened for a second but then he remembered that A- he has a new pet now, and B- nothing else matters becuase he's going to be the Michael's best man at the Pirate wedding. So the Beyonder teleported to the Michael's house during dinner. Unfortunately only his parents were there. The Michael's parents whom the Beyonder had never met. Imagine their surprise during dinner when a giant, red, translucent sphere and a headless zombie appear in their dining room.

Beyonder: HI, IS MICHAEL HOME!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Puscifer II: BRAAAAAAIIIIIIINS!!!!!!!!!
Mom: (with Scottish accent) SWAIT MARCIFUL CHROIST!!!!
Dad: WHAT'S ALL THIS, THEN?

At that point Dad got up and grabbed his very large gun and said "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, DEMON!!! WE HATE DEMONS!!!!!"

B: Yeah but is Michael home?
D: AAAAA... oh you're looking for Michael? He doesn't live here anymore, he has a place in North Providence.
M: Whut are ya dooin'? Whoy doon'tcha shout theh theng, fer Chroist's saake?
P: BRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINS!!!!!!!
D: Could you please leave, that thing is ugly and smells.
B: Oh, yeah ok.

And then we were gone. The Beyonder decided to bring Puscifer II home and put him in the little meadow where he used to keep Puscifer I. So he did that and then he teleported into the Michael's apartment. He appeared inside the refrigerator for some reason and he could hear Georgia talking.

Georgia: I'm going to get a Coke, honey-bunny, do you want one?
The Michael: Yes, please.
G: OK dear.

She walked to the fridge and openned the door to see the Beyonder.

Beyonder: CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!
G: AAAAAAHHHHH!!! and she slammed the door and put a lock on it.

And since the door is locked, the Beyonder can't get out. He can't even teleport out, becuase he can't teleport in or out of anywhere that's locked. And he's been there ever since.

PEACE OUT!!!!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

The other day, the Beyonder went to the doctor. He went because of his recent lack of energy.

*knock knock*
*Doctor, a small, meek looking man with coke bottle glasses and a short, nappy hair (a nerd) enters the room looking down at a clip board*

Doctor: Hello, Mr. Mills, how are we doing to- (looks up)... oh.
Beyonder: HI! I'm ok, how're you?
D: .........................................Oh,. um good.
B: Excellent, I'm Dexter, nice to meet you.
D: Tom... Lefkin.... Dr. Lefkin.
B: Good.... so...
D: Yes... well... what uhh... what seems to be the problem Mr. Mills?
B: Well, I've been having a real loss of energy lately. Like I sleep enough and eat enough and everything, but I still have just been real tired, you know?
D: You eat?!
B: Yeah, like I said, I eat enough food and it's good, healthy food.
D: I see. Did the... did the nurse take your vitals?
B: No, she said that they had a new thing where the doctor takes the vitals for new patients.
D: Oh, she did, huh?
B: Yup. So should we do that?
D: Yeah... (looks back and forth between the Beyonder, the scale and the blood pressure thing.) You know what, that's really not too important, you seem just fine.
B: Whattever, it's your office. :)
D: So lack of energy, is that it?
B: Well no, I've been waking up with weird cuts and torn up clothing that isn't mine and pieces of wood stuck in me.
D: Really? Hmmm... I think I'm going to take a blood... sample... I guess.
B: Ok.

Doctor Lefkin went to the table and brandished a needle. He tried to stick it into the Beyonder but the needle only bent. He looked puzzled and then went back to the table. He returned after a moment of searching through the drawers weilding a glass cutter.

D: I think this might hurt a bit... or not, I really don't know.
B: Ok.

The Doctor cut a small hole in the Beyonder and reached in with a vial and removed some of his mist, then put the piece back and it sealed the hole.

D: I guess this will be good. I'll be right back.
B: Sure.

The Doctor leaved and when he opened the door, there were five people standing outside looking in the door intently trying to see something.

A minute later, Lefkin returned.

D: Dexter... this is going to sound weird, but... were you bitten by anyting recently?
B: Yeah, I got bit by this big wolf a few days ago. But it didn't get infected or anything.
D: Fheh! Mr. Mills... You have scorching case of lycanthropy.
B: Sorry?
D: Me too!
B: What?
D: Sir, are aware that you are a werewolf?
B: That doesn't even make any sense!
D: It makes perfect sense. You have a lack of energy, because at night you turn into a werewolf and go trauncing around town destroying things. You probably burst through people's walls and fight them and get them into all kinds of trouble with their insane mothers. That would explain the pieces of wood and cuts and stuff.
B: Georgia was mumbling something about fighting a werewolf the other day. She's a friend of mine... I think.
D: Yeah you're definetely a werewolf.
B: Well is there like, an antibiotic or something that I can take?
D: No, the only way to cure the curse is to shoot the victim with a silver bullet.
B: Hmm... well then. I think I know who to turn to. Thank you.
D: Sure thing, sir. Have a good day.

And with a heavy load upon his heart, the Beyonder set out for the only person who can help him... Georgia McDanger.

Peace Out!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Last night was the 134th Annual September Ball and it was everything the Beyonder thought it would be. He had asked Grace to go with him to the ball two weeks earlier and she agreed. He was overjoyed as he hovered up to her door and rang the bell. She opened the door and was Beyond beautiful. She had on a pale blue dress and some matching formal shoes. The dress was complimented well by his maroonish tint, but the shoes were nothing to write home about.

Beyonder: If we're going, we're going all the way.

And a pair of the most beautiful glass slippers anyone had ever seen, ever, appeared in front of her.

Grace: DEXTER!! THEY'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GLASS SLIPPERS I'VE EVER SEEN, EVER!! I feel like some kind of fairy godmother... which is kind of dumb... BUT STILL!!

Beyonder: I can assure, m'lady, they are far more beautiful on you then they ever would be on any godmother in history. They're sure to turn everyone's head at the ball.

And with that they made their way to the September Ball. Fashionably late, of course. And by made their way to the ball, he means he willed them to be there and then they were all of a sudden. Still fashionably late.

They went through the large, magestic doors to the ballroom and, sure enough, everyone in the place turned to look at the unyeilding beauty of this new mystery woman the Beyonder had walked in with. Everyone started shouting things like, “Who is she?” “Where did she come from?” “So pretty!!” “Look at her glass slippers! She’s probably got some kind of fairy godmother!” “Wow!” and “She’s too good for him!” He went off to get some punch, and when he came back, Grace had already started throwin' 'bows. Like sister, like... younger sister, I suppose. I chased after Louise to appologize for his broken nose and then returned to my date.

They had a table with Artemis Grimm, Moses, Louise, and Pat Anger. They had a lot of interesting conversation about things enteresting all parties. They talked about answering cups with strings, having god powers, doing ambiguously evil things, missing divorced wives in Nevada, RHHOOOOOOOOOOUGHHHHHHHLLLLL, and fighting everything. The Beyonder ran into the All-Powerful Mick at one point who had a table with his five best ninja fighters.

Beyonder: So Mick, I actually wanted to talk to you.
Mick: Oh really? What about, friend?
B: Well you remember that girl Georgia, right?
M: Oh yes, she's given my ninjas a run for their money on many occasions.
B: Yes well, she's kind of a little unstable in the head right now and I was wondering if you could have your men keep a third eye on her. No real interference, just... if she starts getting ancy, just keep her sustained, feel me?
M: Oh yes, I don't think that would be any trouble at all. Plus I owe... you know for that thing?
B: Oh right, well thanks a lot, but I've got to pee right now, so I'll see you around.
M: Of course, Dexter, enjoy your night! :)

And then he peed.

At one point early on in the night they played Desert Rose by Sting and he went and danced with Grace because that's a phat ballroom dancing song, in this sphere's opinion. While they were dancing, he caught a glimpse of Georgia and the Michael. Now he just needed to get the Michaels attention without making Georgia aware that something was going on... Desert Rose ended and they started playing Rapper's Delight for no reason. PERFECT, he thought... He went off the dance floor and then came right back making a grand entrance like in an eighty's movie, and then started break dancing. After a bit, he backed off so that other people could have the spotlight. During his break, he thought at the Michael.

Beyonder: Mike, it's B. I'm thinking at you. I've got the All-Powerful Mick's ninjas keeping an eye on Georgia. All precautions are in place if she starts flipping out for absolutely no reason. If you got this message, do something unusual but inconspicuous.

As he finished the message, the Michael began to do the robot. Excellent, he heard the Beyonder. The rest of the night went on without event. Georgia kept her calm the entire length of the ball AND they played Poor Some Sugar On Me which is every Beyonder's favorite song.

Be brought Grace home a few minutes after midnight and wished her a good night. She kissed him on the cheek and he blushed and left.

He can't wait to talk to the Michael tomorrow about how the night went. He hopes he's all right.

WHA?? FEELI FDDFDDLFEEL LIKE MEAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH