GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Today, the Beyonder had lunch with Detective Coffee. And went home to call Grace. She's quite nice, and the Beyonder thinks she's perfect for the job. She starts monday. Until then, the Beyonder will be organizing his information and business papers. So that Grace can keep track of everything for me.

The All-powerful Mick stopped by, and we had some iced cream. The Beyonder had red, the All-powerful Mick had black as night. We discussed many things... but mostly just renegotiated his payment for the use of his ninjas, which I have yet to pay him for. I gave him "my" name and adress so he could send me the bill. By "my" I mean Georgias. Peace out!!

GReeTiNGs!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Well, so far, the trip to New Hampshire has been quite good. You, the reader, may be wondering how the Beyonder is sending this message. It's very simple, really. He found a laptop. That's right, he found a laptop. It was just sitting there on Georgia's lap, no one tending to it. It could have been sitting there for weeks with no one to claim it. So, the Beyonder mustered up all his power and managed to reshape reality, ever so slightly, so that the laptop which was in Georgia's lap, was instead with the Beyonder in his beyonder coop. That is the end of the Beyonder's camping story. Also, his green jacket is missing.

Outside of the campsight, the Beyonder is growing quite sick of having so much stuff to worry about. Who's evil twin is dating who's brother and... who to send which letter bomb too, and the like-- AND WORKING IN THE DELICATESSEN. So for the past week, he's been puting out ads in various newspapers, requesting the service of a Personal Assistant (or a PA as they are called in the biz.) The Beyonder has recieved several letters back, and all of them highly qualified individuals. However, one person, in particular, stands out above the rest. A young girl by the name of Grace. According to her resume, she has had the pleasure of working for reality-bending spheres, like the Beyonder, before. He shall have to call her back when he returns to his extra-dimensional plane. Until then, peace out!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Well... interesting information has recently come to light. The other day, while at work, the Beyonder went out to the picnic table to visit with Georgia and Alithea. Alithea was talking about how awesome Indiana Jones is, to which the Beyonder agreed. Also, she was explaining the difference between being an intrepid explorer and an stalwart adventurer, and the rules of belonging to the... clubs, I guess... that apparently exsist for each. Alithea mentioned the reemergence of some long-dead adversary of hers. One Artemis... something... Grey I think... yes, Artemis Grey!!! In any case... this fact both intrigues and confuses the Beyonder. So strange... Alithea says that in the past, people have said that Alithea and Artemis are similar in appearance. The Beyonder took note of this only because Moses' new girlfriend looks a little bit like Alithea. Also, according to Georgia, this artemis character has just returned from the land of the dead. This is also an interesting fact because Moses' new girlfriend always seem to have that new car smell, yet she does not drive to the Beyonder's knowledge... which is infinite.

So, the Beyonder had a brilliant idea, and then he brought his brilliant idea to life... and here it is:

Last night night, the Beyonder threw a dinner party in his, newly renovated, extradimensional space. The invitees were Moses, "Artemis," Georgia, Alithea, and Detective Coffee. Moses and "Artemis" were first to arrive.

"Moses!" the Beyonder exclaimed, joyfully, "How wonderful to see you!"

"And you, good brother." said Moses, "I don't believe you've met Artemis."

"Artemis!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!" the Beyonder thought... what he said was, "Good to meet you, Artemis."

"The pleasure is all mine." said she. Just then, there was a knock at the door. The Beyonder openned it, and in walked Alithea and Georgia."

"Hey Alithea, glad you could make it. And Georgia... did I invite you?"

"Yes!!" shouted Georgia, quite angrily, " T-E STu_pidfac_e, what the fuck kind of place is this anyway? Is this where you live? Jesus Christ I bet it is!!! You don't have any furniture or walls or a floor or anything, it's just infinite red space!!!!"

"YARRRR, that be a nice eye you got there." the Beyonder said.

"...shut up." she said.

"Well, come on in anyway. " the Beyonder said.

"Well, I'm glad to be-" Alithea began, cutting herself off. "Artemis..."

"Alithea, how wonderful to see you again." said Artemis, "Is that your yo-yo? It's very cute." Alithea just looked down at the yo-yo she was brandishing.

"Well, let's all sit down for dinner!" the Beyonder said."Oh, yeah. That's a great fucking idea, you dolt!" Georgia shouted, "We're we going to sit exactly, stupid McFaggot!Q?" Just then, the Beyonder willed there to be a dinner table and four chairs, and they appeared. He looked at Georgia, and she scowled at him.

We all sat down, and began injesting our food.

"So, is anyone else coming over for dinner? I see that you created an extra chair." inquired Moses.

"Yeah, actually I invited my friend Detective Coffee." the Beyonder responded.

"You invited that creep?" shouted Georgia, looking up from her plate. "What the fuck why?"

"Becuase there are some things that I want to show him and some things that I want to ask him." responded the Beyonder.

"Do I know Detective Coffee?" inquired Alithea.

"Probably not." Georgia went on the explain," You'd know if you did, he's like a Mr. Coffee machine with a fedora."

"Really?"

"Really."

"So, Alithea," Artemis interrupted, "Gone on any intrepid adventures lately?"

"No, I haven't gone any intrepid explorations lately." said Alithea, quite stiffly, the Beyonder might add.

"Oh, come now, Alithea... are you still arguing about that?"

"Artemis, there is a very clear cut difference between explorers and adventurers!" It was at that moment that Georgia and the Beyonder began humming the Indiana Jones theme. Getting louder and lounder until they weren't humming but in fact screaming and they were on top of the table.

"Yes... Well, as fun as this has been, Beyonder, I think Moses and I should be going." said Artemis.

"We have to go, too." said Alithea.

"But I haven't finished my stupid sphere food!" Georgia explained.

"WE HAVE TO GO, GEORGIA!" shouted Alithea, almost as angrily as Georgia was before. And with that, everyone was gone... unaswered questions... left over food... peace out ...

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

The Beyonder attempted to go to Georgia's house yesterday, but, he never got to the door. Mainly because as soon as he got into the yard, she began shouting yarrr, me booty, and shooting cannonballs at him.

Also, Moses' stuff is gone.

Sorry, about that. It was Det. Coffee. He just stopped by to ask how things were going with Georgia and Alithea. The Beyonder told him things were going pretty good, except for Georgia's pirate thing, and Alithea keeps rambling about someone named Montrose. Det. Coffee just kind of sat there for a second and then skittered off. Well... that's all, I suppose. Off the Georgia's. Peace out!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

So, the Beyonder spent the day with his brother Moses and his new girlfriend. She's pretty nice... except there's something strange about her. The Beyonder can't quite put his finger on it. All well. Today the Beyonder is going to go to Georgia's house to see if we can hang out. The Beyonder doesn't know what's going on bec--- hold on, there's a knock at the door.

GRee_t_ngs!! Th_s Si THe G_eorg_ia!!!

Dear the Beyonder,
I'm terribly sorry about the way I've been acting towards you. You don't deserve to be treated like that. I hope that we can be friends.

Love,
Georgia

XOXOXO

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

That was the text of a card that the Beyonder recently recieved from Georgia. It would seem that she has come to her senses about the Fredericks thing. Hopefully she will overlook the letter bomb the he sent as well. Peace out!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Filled with a... good feeling after the fireworks display of the fourth, the Beyonder thought he'd take the day off from work. It was fun... he went to the local coffee shop and drank some Frappacino. (all Spheres like Frappacino) While he was sitting there, this odd little fellow wandered(?) in and sat next to the Beyonder. He was so very familiar to the Beyonder. This weird little guy talked a lot and then left. Thankfully the Beyonder recorded the conversation...

Little Guy: Hello, Dexter.
The Beyonder: Hey, there... you.
LG: I bet your wondering about the dreams you've been having.
TB: Sphere's don't dream, creepy little guy.
G: I bet you've been wondering about the illusions that you've been witnessing.
B: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!
G: I know a lot about you, Dexter. Maybe more than you know yourself.
B: That's pretty weird, buddy.
G: Yes, well... I think that we should talk.
B: We are talking.
G: Dexter...
B: Yeah...?
G: Shut up.
B: Can do.
G: I've been studying you and your friends recently, and I see that you and Georgia don't seem to be getting along.
B: Well, yeah, she's pretty cold. I sent her a letter bomb yesterday.
G: Ugh... well you need to try to make amends with her. The fate of the world depends on it.
B: No dice, fella. She's off bein' a pirate.
G: Yes, well... when she returns-
B: When she returns, she's got a surprise coming to her.
G: Well... look. I need to warn you, you may be in grave danger. One of the spheres has gone evil and aligned himself with evil twins of Georgia and Alithea.
B: Hmm...
G: I'm here to give you the weapon that you will use to destroy your nemesis, when the time comes.
B: A slinky?
G: It's a holy slinky.
B: Ok, so when are we doing this?
G: When the time comes.
B: Yeah, but when cause I have to get the day-
G: WHEN THE TIME COMES.
B: oh.
G: I must go... this coffee is tapped. Godspeed, Dexter, I'll try to get the others their weapons.
B: What?

And with that we left. As he left, that word made me realize... Coffee... It was that detective Coffee guy!!!
Oh how bizarre. Peace out!!

HaPPy FouRTH oF JuLy!! ThiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

The fireworks were great!! The Beyonder didn't even mind that Georgia was there. All together it was Alithea, Georgia, the Michael, Pat Anger, Moses, and the Beyonder. He doesn't think that he's had as much fun in his entire life than he did last night. Also almost his entire family was there. It was neat to see them again. Anway, there really isn't much to say... they went to same way they always went, we stood in a field for a while and then the ceremony started, we watched the ceremony for a while and then it stopped so we went home. Not much else happened. The Beyonder doesn't think that Georgia, the Michael, Pat, Alithea had as much fun as he and Moses, though, he doesn't know why. We'll he's got to go to work at the delicattesen. Peace out!!

grEEtIngs11 thIs Is thE bEYOndEr111

That's strange...

Today is July 3rd. The anticipation of Independence Day is nearly killing the Beyonder.

Work was pretty good today. A lot of people showed up wanting various forms of processed mammal muscles for the celebration tomorrow. The Beyonder felt like looking professional today, in an effort to impresston the boss (it seemed to work), and so he wore a smoking jacket, and a regal pipe. Georgia showed up as the Beyonder was leaving the Michael to finish up. Just in time for what the Beyonder likes to call, "the Make Fun of Georgia as Much as Spherically Possible Fun Hour Extravagansa with Puppets and Balloons featuring Ronnie James Dio of the eighties." Dio didn't show, so the Beyonder was forced to rely on only his wit to bash the unsuspecting sea hag (Georgia).

In any case, that's all over and done with now and the Beyonder can get a good nights sleep. Tomorrow is a big day. In Wakefield, right down the street from the SHAW's, there is going to be a big Independence Day ceremony that Moses and the Beyonder will be attending. He invited young Alithea Grey to joing him. It seems like the kind of thing that she would enjoy. Moses says that there will be lots of sweet virgins there. Just ripe for the picking. Man if there's anything Moses absolutely loves, it's young virgins. Not like thirteen year olds, that's gross. But like, twenty-one? That's right up his ally. Well, better get to rest, big day tomorrow. Peace Out!

At long last... after one whole month of waiting... he has returned... returned to entertain his fans... ladies and gentlemen... boys and girls of all ages...

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS................. THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Wow, what a weird dream. In any case, the Beyonder didn't manage to get any information from the Rambler. Seems his scan on the Rambler's ramblings was a bit more on the... oh, how to put this... completely wrong side. Turned out, the Rambler was just talking about the Citrus Breeze stuff that the La Carte depot. distributes. Also, due to the attack by the Beyonder and his legion of ninjas, the Beyonder was fired. Not a problem, though. He simply willed himself to be reinstated into store employment and it happened. The only bad thing was, that since the chicken oven was rotated 90 degrees, the Beyonder could no longer fit into the La Carte depot. That being, he was reinstated into the delicatessen. THE SAME DELICATESSEN THAT GEORIGA WORKED IN!!!!!! The Beyonder was not pleased.

His pain quickly turned to pleasure; however, when he discovered that he would also be working adjacent to the Michael, Georgia's main squeeze. He is really quite a guy. We speak of the Devil Rays (the Beyonder's baseball team of choice) and the Red Sox(the Michael's favorite team, even though they suck hard) which offers the Beyonder ample opportunity to shout "NOOOOMMMAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" at him. Georgia doesn't seem to like it, though. In fact, Georgia has been nothing but rude to the Beyonder since he began working there. Having acquired the friendship of a certain group of ninjas, the Beyonder asked if there was anything they could do to convince Georgia to be a little more pleasant. They brought him to their leader. The all powerful Mick.

The all powerful Mick had to be at least twenty-eight years old. Having spent his entire life working up the chain of command in the ninja guild, he was easily the most wise, and respected of the ninjas. After he explained the Georgia situation to Mick, the Beyonder was told that Mick's highest ranking ninja would be sent to deal with her. The Beyonder was quickly introduced to him, if indeed it was a him. It looked a lot more like some sort of bathroom muck monster. The Beyonder is presently back at home in his extra-dimensional plain, awaiting for the "operation stupid Georgia" results. Until then, peace out!