GReeTiNGS!! ThiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Moses is really great to have around. Today we went out for iced cream. (Sphere's like iced cream in evey type of weather.) When we went outside, we saw Georgia. She was just standing there. It was weird. She looked at the Beyonder, and then at Moses, and then at the Beyonder again, and then she just ran away screaming. What a friggin' wacko. Anyway, Moses and the Beyonder went out for iced cream. We each had our favorite flavors. The Beyonder's favorite flavor is green (because the Beyonder is usually a green sphere). Moses' favorite flavor is red (because Moses is usually a red sphere). After iced cream, we went back to the Beyonder's house. The Beyonder expected that he would continue fixing his wall while Moses went to see Alithea. However, much to the Beyonder's surprise, Moses offered to help him with his wall!! So much more than that laz-ball Louise ever would have done. He would have just kept ranting about his mystery love. In any case, that's what we did today. We fixed the Beyonder's wall. Now it's done. On a side note- while we were fixing the wall, we heard Georgia screaming and breaking things. Poor Alithea. The Beyonder can't imagine what it's like to live with a crazy, crazy girl... named Georgia. Just then, the Beyonder had an idea. As a special favor to his friend Alithea... he would call the men in white jackets to come and take Georga to the funny farm. And after the Beyonder finished looking at his new Feddrick's catalogue... that's exactly what he did! They said they would come tomorrow afternoon, around 3:00 (three, o'clock pm). It was getting late, so Moses said he'd go talk to Alithea tomorrow. Wow, what a fun day the Beyonder had!!! Looks like everything's startin' to look his way! Unil next time, peace out!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Well, Moses showed up today and he made the Beyonder take him out on the town. The Beyonder told him that there wasn't much to do around here but Moses didn't seem to care. He seems a lot more depressed than usual, but his wife did leave him, so. When we got home, Moses was attacked by one of the cars in the lot. A small blueish thing which the Beyonder has heard is called the "Cavelie." Moses asked the Beyonder if any famous people lived around him, but no one does. The Beyonder told him that next door (the Beyonder pointed through the hole) there is this wicked annoying Georgia girl who may or may not have twin sister named Winnefred Dealenor Roosevelt, and this other girl Alithea Grey, who is supposedly some type of intrepid explorer or something. He seemed really excited to meet this Alithea person. The Beyonder told him that it is told that Alithea is the person that owns the Cavelie. Or is owned by the Cavelie, the Beyonder isn't too sure which it is. So the Beyonder guesses that Moses will probably attempt to speak to Alithea tomorrow. The Beyonder? He will spend tomorrow coming up with a new plan of sweet, sweet revenge against Georgia for the Freddrick's thing. Until then, peace out!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Damn of Damns!! The Beyonder's plan hath been foiled. As you know, the Beyonder has been planning his sweet, sweet revenge against his neighbor Georgia. She made the mistake of accusing the Master Sphere that he did steal her Freddrick's of Hollywood catalogue. The plan was brilliant. The plan was ingenius. The plan would have taught Georgia a lesson she would not soon have forgotten. The plan was a mailbox bomb.

Georgia would go outside unsuspectingly to get her mail. When she opens the mailbox... EXPLODE!!! All was going well. Georgia went out to the mailbox as the Beyonder peered through his blinds. She approached it casually as, in the distance, a loud crashing started. The noise gets closer as the Beyonder begins to hear the love sick cries of a snow daemon!! "Winnefred!!! Winnefred!!!" Cried the beast as he ran towards the mailbox, obviously under the impression that Georgia was in fact the Winnefred character he's always ranting about. At this moment the Beyoner remembered that he had told Louise what his plan was, and if he thinks that Georgia is Winnefred... NO!!!!

The Beyonder ran out of his freezing house yelling, "NO, LOUISE, STOP!!! THAT'S NOT WINNEFRED!!" But the Beyonder's efforts to halt the charging monster... were futile. Louise ran up and grabbed Georgia just when she would have openned the mailbox and pushed her away. "Louise!! What the hell is wrong with you?" She demanded. "Winnefred, my love," he said, "I have just saved your life! The Beyonder has laid a trap for your illfated sister Georgia. See?" Louise reached over, and openned the mailbox and, as the Beyonder had made sure it woud, the mailbox exploded, sending Louise flying into the air. Georgia looked at the Beyonder and said, "God dammit you're a creep, you friggin' sphere!" and walked back to her appartment. The Beyonder went back inside of his house and began cleaning out his old friend' belongings and bringing them to the dumpster. And at that moment, he knew. He knew that Louise was gone forever. That mailbox bomb was a brilliant plan in conception, but in practice, it proved to be far from brilliant. For all the Beyonder knows, Louise now calls oblivion home, instead of Nevada. Oblivion or space. Or Albuqurque, which is pretty close to Nevada. The Beyonder's adventures with Louise Hans Christian the Snow Daemon, are over. As the Beyonder hovered back to his house, he saw a burned letter, lying on his doorstep. He read it:

Dear Dexter,
How are things in Rhode Island? That's good. I wish things were going well here in Seatle. My wife divorced me and she got the house. I'm really going to need a place to stay. I should get to your place by Wednesday. Thanks!!!

Your loving brother,
Moses Mills

So the Beyonder is coming to stay with him? He'll arrive in, like, two days. Son of a bitch. Well, it looks as though someone has got a lot of cleaning up to do. So the Beyonder sits here in his house with a Louise shaped hole in it, and his heart with a similar hole, and he says... until next time... peace out.

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Well, it's been a couple days and the Beyonder is still busy potting his sweet, sweet revenge against Georgia. If you've just tuned in, the Beyonder will explain. Georgia accused the Beyonder of stealing her Freddricks of Hollywood catalogue. So the Beyonder is plotting revenge, it's very simple really. Louise came home again and is still ranting about this Winnefred. The Beyonder tried to tell Louise about his MASTER-PLAN but he wasn't paying any attention. In any case, the Beyonder's plan is gonna rock even if he can't get the eight foot tall snow daemon to help him. Well, there really isn't much else to say, plus the Beyonder has planning to do. In conclusion:

Georgia is dumb,
Louise is dumb,
I don't know who Winnefred is, but she's probably dumb,
my MASTER-PLAN is gonna rock,
until next time, peace out!!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Louise is gone. He didn't take any of his stuff with him, he just left. The Beyonder tried to ask him where he was going, but he just kept screaming, "Got... find... Winnefred!!" So now he's just gone. The Beyonder thinks that that girl Georgia might have something to do with it. That was the last thing Louise spoke to before leaving in a flurry. That wouldn't surprise the Beyonder, though, that girl Georgia's always up to something. The Beyonder doesn't know who Winnefred is, though. Maybe it's one of Louise's Frost Heave cousins or something. The other day that girl Georgia tried to accuse the Beyonder of stealing her Fredericks of Hollywood catalog. What a jerk, The Beyonder tells ya'!!! Is it, like, a crime or something for a sphere to dream?! IS IT!?! The Beyonder doesn't know. In any case, he's got more important things to worry about. Like fixing the giant hole in his wall. Right now the Beyonder just has one of those big plastic things over the hole, but it's getting friggin' cold in here!!! So tomorrow the Beyonder is gonna have to fix that up. Stupid Louise. All well.

In other news, the Beyonder's really been stewing about the whole Freddericks thing. The Beyonder means... the all out nerve of some people!!! To think that the Beyonder would actually steal someone's naughty underwear mag. That's just... a bold move... really!!! Well, as he said, the Beyonder's really been stewing about that. So he came up with this plan to get back at Georgia for her filthy insinuation. Just wait... it'll be absolutely...

PRICELESS...

MWAHAHAHAHAHA...

MWAHAHAHAHAHA...

Untill next time, peace out...

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Well, the Jay-Z show was friggin' awesome!!! It was cool to see the guy again, we caught up a lot, Jay-Z, Louise, and The Beyonder. Monday morning, though, The Beyonder was sitting around reading his new Frederick's catalog (still no night wear for spheres) and Louise comes in all covered in snow!! The Beyonder was like, "What's up?" and Louise goes "Geese Louise, man!! It's a blizzard!! Now I remember what I was doin' up here, so far away from home. I was heading up to New Hampshire to visit my cousin the Frost Heave. Dammit, that sucks, now I've missed him!! And it's all because of that damn girl from Shaw's. Man, I'd like to settle her hash." "Yeah, I'd like to settle her hash, too!" The Beyonder said. "You know she lives, like, right there?" "Are you serious?" yelled Louise. At that moment Louise lumbers right through the Beyonder's wall over to the girls house and starts pounding on the door!! The Beyonder didn't think she was home but he's not about to tell that to a determined snow daemon!!

So Louise is now waiting on that girl's doorstep for her to get home. And the Beyonder? He's busy fixing his wall. Until next time, peace out!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!

Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ!!!! Ok, so this daemon Louise is still staying in the Beyonder's house. Eating the Beyonder's green bean caserole. Dirtying up the Beyonder's bed. And it's been, like, TWO FRIGGIN' WEEKS!! The Beyonder knows that he went to high school with Louise and everything, but lordy, why doesn't he leave?! The Beyonder means, doesn't Louise have, like, a job, or like, a family, or something that he should be getting back to? ... AAARRRRGGGGHHHH... All well. The Beyonder is probably making a mountain out of a mole hill. Anyway, some interesting stories have come out of Louise. Turns out that the Beyonder's old friend Louise is now an investmen banker... weird. The Beyonder wouldn't think that a snow daemon could get such a prestigious title. Especially one like Louise. (Louise was never one for school work) Also, he was telling the Beyonder about what happened when he showed up in town. (Why Louise was so far away from Nevada is beyond... the Beyonder. Heh.) So Louise shows up in Wakefield during this snow storm, and he gets hungry. So he looks around and there's a Shaw's. Louise is a big fan of the food that Shaw's carries so he figures he'll get some. Only the doors are two small. So Louse has no choice but to burst through the door. When he gets through there's this girl that starts givin' him guff about everything. So he leaves without any food. But this girl just follows him and demands he let her give him a ride. So he goes. During the ride, this girl just yells at Louise about all these assenine things, and Louise gets nervous when people yell at him, so he freaks out!!! He grabs the girls steering wheel and smashes all of her windows, gets out of the car a friggin' books!! That's where the Beyonder comes in. The Beyonder guesses Louise isn't so bad. Hold on... he just got back from Stop~n~Shop.


HOLY CRAP!!!! Louise didn't go to Stop~n~Shop at all!!! He went to Ticket Master and got us Jay-Z tickets with backstage passes!!!! That'll be aweseme!!! You know, people are always saying that DMX has done so much for the rap industry, but he totally ripped off Jay-Z. And we should know... Louise and the Beyonder went to high school with Jay-Z. He told us all of his ideas, and as soon as his career starts to take off... DMX steals all of those ideas... Alll well. It'll be good to see Jay-Z again. The three of us used to be real tight. Well the Beyonder has to go. Peace out!

GReeTiNGS!! THiS iS THe BeyoNDeR!!!
The Beyonder knows that he has not made an entry in quite the while. Well believe you him, he is not pleased about this fact. The Beyonder would have been posting, but he didn't feel safe to stop and sit long enough to do so. The Beyonder has been being followed. There's this weird group of ninjas that jut follow the Beyonder everywhere he goes. It's really friggin' annoying but what are you gonna do, right? They usually keep a good distance away from the Beyonder, you know to try to remain inconspicuous. BUT THE BEYONDER KNOWS THEIR TRICKS!!! Every once in a while one of them will get close to the Beyonder. But all the Beyonder has to do is say "BEWARE THE FOUR HORSEMEN!!! WAR... PESTILENCE... FAMINE... and... GREG!!!!!" and the ninjas run away. The Beyonder tells you, these ninjas seem particularly fearfull of Greg. Which is good. Other than that the Beyonder has been pretty good... yup... OH YEAH!!! The Beyonder almost forgot!!!! This one day a couple of weeks ago, The Beyonder was walking through Wakefield (it was when we had that big snow storm, he wouldn't have driven through Wakefield if his life depended on it!!) and suddenly the Beyonder heard something running up behind him... something BIG!! So he turns around and there's this big friggin' snow daemon running his way carrying a steering wheel!!! At first he was scared but then he realized that he knew the thing. "Louise!!!" He yells as the daemon skids to a stop. "Holy crap!!! Louise Hans Christian Anderson!! It's me, the Beyonder!!! I haven't seen you since high school back in Nevada. Wait it's cold. Let's get back to my place and catch up." And we went back to The Beyonder's house to warm up and Louise ended up staying with The Beyonder for a while. In fact, he's still here. Peace out.